Sunday, December 20, 2009

Better than a remote control airplane.



A remote control airplane with Christmas lights on it! This same group of Radio Shack enthusiasts have also been seen with remote control cars, trucks, etc. with Christmas lights on so they can party alllll night long. This was the first time I saw the planes though. Perhaps they are responsible for the Shrunken Tim and Crippled Cratchit light sculpture (which is on the opposite side of the street). If the thing gets up and starts (trying) to walk away we will know for sure!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

How Big is YOUR House, I mean, Cat?

Please Note: Pablo is not stuck, nor had he been forced into the cat house. Do not be concerned, he has since gotten out.
I am not sure what state of denial he is living in that lead him to think he would actually fit in here. I am sure that he believes he is fully inside. Not the case. It reminds me of the reason why we had to get a larger cat box. Our old one was a Pod-looking covered thing and Pablo would stick the front half of his body in, and instead of turning around and sticking his head back out so he could do his business, he would just stay with his head inside and his back end out and shit in front of the box.


Aerial view. I should have put a quarter next to him for size comparison.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Inexplicable

This "sculpture" showed up in the park in our neighborhood. Living where we do, renegade art shows up all the time in various places, so I was not entirely surprised to see some sort of Holiday Light Display. I was surprised, upon closer inspection, that this was the subject matter they choose to represent. I can only assume that the figure in the foreground is supposed to be Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim, who in this case is really tiny. Its like a grown man, only smaller. It also appears that Bob is the one who is actually crippled here, with his miniscule womens size 6 feet. Tim on the other hand, reminds me of the Kodama in Princess Mononoke. But Honestly, who knows with these kids today? Do YOU know? If so, please shed some 'light' on the subject, as there are several confused parties currently involved in an investigation.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Fox in the Snow- also Possibly Snow Fox, or in fact, Neither.

In preparation for an upcoming snowstorm my bro-in-law is looking forward to, I give you a wonderful game to play. Fox in the Snow. It could also be called Snow Fox. It could also be called something else entirely which I do not remember. My Aunt Sharon and Uncle George introduced the game to my sister and myself one time back in 1992 I think.

Step 1: Create your track in the snow, as illustrated above (in chicken feet, for extreme clarity). This is essentially a giant circle with an X in it, created by shuffling your feet as you scoot in the aforementioned shape.

Step 2: Players, take your positions. Max. 4. Each equidistant from each other at the ends of the X shape.

Step 3: Decide who is 'IT'.

Step 4: Explain that each player has to stay on the OX Track. You are allowed to move back and forth, across and back. There is NO PASSING. In order to get in front of, or behind another player use one or more of the legs of the X shortcut. Whomever is tagged becomes 'IT' and so on.

Step 5: GO!

Step 6: Laugh hysterically and become outrageously winded.

Under the Bridge



Manhattan Bridge. On the way to Etsy Headquarters.

Pier 94 OOAK show. Annalise made the displays. Glenn Close was there, but I didn't see her. I did see Joy from the View though. And there you go.

Oh Lord.

Santa Frank, played by Annalise
Creepy Kris, played by Lauren

I don't know who these girls are, but they are obviously some classy dames.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Bizarre Atmospheric Effects

It was so freaking cold and wet the other night that the heat from the electricity in the city was making the whole island steam. I think.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Goldilocks and the 3 Cats

Ok, technically I am not so much of a Goldilocks anymore as it turns out. For the first time in however many years I am sporting my natural hair color and seeing as though it is wintertime, is awee bit darker than I would have imagined. The 3 cats part of the title remains the same though!

video

First up is Scraps. I was sewing in the studio part of our apartment when I heard some suspicious noises from the other room. These noises lead me to believe one of our cats had the audacity to sharpen their claws on our couch. With murder on my mind, I race off only to see Pablo sleeping on the couch, totally out and no other cats in the vicinity. Thinking I must have imagined it, I return to my project. Seconds later I definitely hear the exact same noise and return to our living room to re-investigate, only to discover the above cat doing the above thing. If she weren't so freaking adorable with her muffin head and imaginary friends I would have killed her a long time ago. How can you stay mad at this cat?


Second up is Simone, whom has not, for obvious reasons, made an appearance on this blog. She is a very sweet and loving cat. Just like a middle child, Simone is so well behaved she gets looked over occasionally. One example, as photographed, is Simone discovering a new hideyhole in which she can lurk and her brother cannot find her to beat her up. I was putting our clean laundry away the other day and left the closet door open for possibly 5 minutes unattended. I then returned and closed the door. Hours later, as I am going to sleep, I hear Simone (slightly muffled) asking for help. She does this occasionally in non-trapped situations such as corners, so I was not immediately fearful at where my cat had wound up. Honestly, Scraps is the one who manages to find herself in disastrous and life-threatening places, not Simone- and we alllll know Pablo cannot fit in most places to get trapped in them. After some time and investigation I discover that Simone had indeed been trapped some place. The t-shirt section of Tim's side of the closet, just above the shoes.


And finally, we have Pablo. One of his new tricks involves jumping up on our trashcan lid, and then saying his prayers as, out of desperation, he propels his monstrous body the distance to the pattern making table (a distance of approx. 15-17") unspotted and without a net so he can munch on his sisters' food. I have begun moving the food bowls to the top of the refrigerator for obvious reasons. He is still so proud of his death defying leap, even if it is not being rewarded by a stolen munch from the forbidden food bowl, that he is continuing to show off at random intervals. One of these displays occurred as I was making a tutu for the class I am teaching. Pablo charged onto the table, into the discarded shards of tulle and began biting, tearing, and shaking them around effectively decimated my folding system. In retaliation, I made him a special Pablo sized tutu all for his own, which he very clearly loved wearing. It was several days before he slept beside me in a effective punishment of his own. A worthy adversary.



Monday, December 14, 2009

BathTub races



video

I am not quite sure why/ how I missed uploading this when it actually happened. Weird shit happens in my neighborhood sometimes and maybe 2 months ago, while going to an organic bake sale at a church, I stumbled upon bathtub races. Right across from my grocery store. I didn't ask questions and just said, 'Thank You'. They also gave me a commemorative key chain.

Also, although this signpost is from an entirely different evening I think that it was perhaps the map the bathtub drivers were trying to follow during the race. In reality, this sign exists in Chinatown... Which is absurd for a number of reasons.

My First Lobster

Tim creates a size/scale reference
Big Bob (Jo is an elusive photo subject)

Tim and I took the bus to Park Ridge, NJ to pay an over night visit to Big Bob (my father is known as Little Bob, but not to his face and only when someone has called on the phone and we have to differentiate between the two Bobs) and Jo, my dad's parents. It's like a 45 minute bus ride from the city and absolutely beautiful there. We are cooked and cared for almost professionally when we arrive and going is lovely weekend retreat from NYC. This time, however, Tim and I missed our bus. Stuck in Port Authority for an hour until the next one left, we decided to get a drink in an 'Irish' pub which we found lurking in a dark corner and was as bad as could be expected from an NYC bus station bar. But it sold beer, so we were happy. We drank some beers and planned a honeymoon. Although Tim and I got married July of 2008, we have not had a honeymoon yet. 2010 is the year and we are planning to rent a flat in Paris for a week. Amazingly enough we found some really great ones that are totally affordable! Anyway, after deciding this, we ran off to catch our next bus, which we made and were on our way. THEN, we discovered that we happened to be on the weekend schedule and it would be taking us an hour and a half to get to Park Ridge. The beers were not a good idea. Thankfully incidents were avoided and we arrived with dry pants.

As you may have guessed, we ate the most enormous lobsters in existence for dinner that night. I, personally, have never even attempted to eat a lobster before. I am in a field where I value and will need the use of all of my limbs and digits. However, I will try most things once and went into the situation with an open mind, shadowing my grandfathers technique so it looked like I knew what I was doing. There really should have been a photo montage of my successes and failures but the whole process was just too damn messy for me to even think about touching my camera. I can go ahead an sum up the experience by saying the cats were really interested in smelling me when I got home. Even my shoes. That shit was everywhere and since we were only staying overnight, I did not bring a change of clothes and in spite of going through a dozen napkins I could definitely have used a change of clothes. I imagine that I will not be attempting to eat another lobster until I am rich enough to pay someone to bust that sucker open for me and feed it to me in a saran wrap suit and hood combo which I will have sewn just for the occasion.

It was damn tasty though.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Parents in the Big City

For my birthday, this year, my parents came up from NC to visit little ol me in NYC. This is a bit of a sacrifice on their comfort level because I made them sleep in our half room attic and my dad is 6'2". However, they love me and decided to come anyway even though they knew they were staying on the 7 1/2 floor. We went to go see Chicago on Broadway and walked around Central Park. My mom works at the BabyGap and they were debuting the Stella McCartney collection so we swung by there as well so she could brag to her coworkers. Good eats and good times were had by all!

Speaking of false starts, it took quite a few frames to get adults coordinated enough to all do a Can-Can kick proving that no Conger or Jones will ever make the chorus...






What a giant kid.


Tim sees a face in the tree.



Saturday, December 12, 2009

A little Brit named Carly

carly and mariamaria

mike, going double
liz
jacob
jess gaydon
ladies and gentlemen, Tim Jones
and the birthday girl herself!


We celebrated Carly's birthday with a fake beard and mustache set made from felt. I, for one, see a trend that will hopefully become something of legendary proportions for birthdays to come! I do apologize for not being pictured here in the group. If memory serves, Carly has a very special photo of me wearing the Birthday Beard which I will try to get a hold of.

Friday, December 11, 2009

The fate of our wedding cranes


My friend Lena selflessly folded us alllllllmost 1,000 paper cranes for good luck to hang at our wedding. I am a huge Northern Exposure fan and fellow devotees will recall this ritual being carried out by the Cicely community for Holling and Shelley's second wedding. We took all the cranes Lena folded and hung them up at the wedding, put them in seats, used them as decorations on the buffet table at the reception, put them on top of our cake, and in the end we were stuffing the things in every nook and cranny we could find. Tim and I take one with us when we go on vacations and hide it somewhere for someone else to stumble upon. Even so, we still have a bag full of the little boogers waiting to be distributed in the future.

The other day I actually managed to sneak up on Scraps, in a brand new and very temporary sleeping spot.

Thats right.

On top of a crinkly paper bag full of pointy origami.

How comfortable.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Autumn in New York

my walk on the way to the train

On the subway platform, Tim- in his leather jacket and hood- makes a statement on the disposability of the human race. I hope I am not the only one who will quote Better Off Dead here, "Now that's a damn shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that..."
Annalise brings both color and movement to the season.

Monday, December 7, 2009

The place where no one is...


...But me.

Last Wednesday I went to go see New Moon all by myself under the cover of midday on the upper west side. Normally I would not admit to seeing this movie, but it turns out I was the ONLY ONE THERE. A movie all to myself, which was good, except I kept feeling as if someone was sneaking up on me. Maybe a vampire, maybe an employee. I spooked myself all by myself. It was dark, give me a break.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Hmmm...

Does this man know me, or what?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The shaping of the minds.


As some of you know, I am teaching a fashion club once a week at an UWS high school. I go in every Wednesday and do my best to teach 20-25 kids with attention issues how to create a new design inspired by a concept or idea, illustrate it, make the pattern, choose the fabric, sew, and finally present it at their Art Night at the end of the year. Some of them are quicker than others, but all in all, I love doing it because the kids are really awesome.

This year we are doing an Alice and Wonderland (thanks Tim Burton) gone Steampunk theme, titled 'Arsenic and Lace' (this has also lead me directly to my Halloween costume-see the sketch). The proper execution of this concept may prove to be a bit more advanced then their skills, but in the end I think that I will leave them with the impression they can make anything they want to. We are doing everything from beginning to end, including accessories, hair and makeup, styling, etc. Also, we are trying to collaborate with the photography club so we can have it documented this year. Last year we did a Recycled theme and NO ONES PARENTS TOOK PHOTOS AT THE ART NIGHT. In the abbreviated words of my students, WTF?

Mood Board for Fashion Club
Sketch of Halloween costume
I made an umbrella.

...which bores and then frightens Simone, apparently.


Sunday, October 25, 2009

And then there was Wilmington.


The other trip I eluded to in my Slowly post was a trip down to Wilmington. Tim's mother, Linda, had surgery and due to the flexibility of my self-invented job, I was available to travel down to lend a hand. It was more entertainment, comfort, and relief that I was needed for because I found a rather stoic woman down at Kure Beach in spite of the procedure she went through, for which I was happy because I had really been imagining the worst case scenario. As it was, I was free to run around with my two niece-in-laws for half of the days I was down there, while taking care of Linda in the morning/ evenings. We became outrageous tightrope walkers on the beach using only a stick and a looong stretch of sand and rounded off the afternoon playing rousing games of imaginary baseball against Bears and Ponies. We were the Rocks, because we had a rock as a mascot. Then, in the early evening, I knocked them both out by reading The Hobbit out loud, whoda thunk? There was a moment with an Easy Bake Oven which is not worth going in to because anyone who has actually tried to cook with that thing knows that it is as effective as trying to fry an egg on a sidewalk on a hot day. Myth only. Lord knows how may people have been taken in by that scam...