Friday, June 12, 2009

Blood Sucking F*cker

I woke myself up itching my feet with my feet. 
After some investigation with my hands in the dim morning light, I was able to deduce that I had been sucked into an near-hollow shell by a particularly greedy mosquito. I had approximately 30+ bites on both of my feet and ankles, which were innocently sticking off the end of my bed. I am imagining that by the end of its feast, the mosquito looked like an insect version of that girl from Disney who is in her Rascal on her cellphone, and must be lurking behind a door in my apt somewhere unable to fly out of the 3rd floor, thinking, "I'm..... so (burp)... fuuuuulll". 


  1. Large gay men have turkey legs. Large mosquitoes have Lauren legs. There is, however, only photographic proof of one.

  2. However elusive to the photographic eye, it is certainly not imaginary. That mosquitos days are numbered and I expect the rest of my day will be spent OFF!-ing my apt.

  3. Well, that one's certainly not flying off anywhere. It's just biding its time, digesting.